The Best Short Funny Quotes Collection Ever

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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself (Josh Billings)

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A friend doesn`t go on a diet because you are fat (Erma Bombeck)

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A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life, to be thankful for a good one (Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings)

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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before (Mae West)

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Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. (Mark Twain)

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God could create the world in six days because he didn’t have to make it compatible with the previous version.

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Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company (Mark Twain)

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Humor is despair refusing to take itself seriously. (Arland Ussher)

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I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally (W.C. Fields)

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I like marriage. The idea. (Toni Morrison)

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I realize that humor isn’t for everyone. It’s only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. (Anne Wilson Schaef)

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I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong (Bertrand Russell)

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